When you're used to operating in chaos, peace seems foreign.
As an adult, my life has been chaotic, to say the least. Most of the chaos was jumpstarted by my bad decisions, so when I did some self reflecting and began to grow, the peace in my life became abundant. This peace allows me to see the joy in everything and helps me to be more resilient during difficult times. Peace is foreign to me and while I am grateful for reaching this point in life, I have a hard time accepting and allowing all that comes with it. Because I am so used to being critical of myself, I had to learn how to speak positivity into my life. Because I am used to being defensive, I have to constantly work at allowing others to love me, wholly. I remind myself daily that I am worthy and deserving of love and being loved. Because writing is healing for me, I have to learn how to write while I am healed.
The more my joy increases, my writing suffers. My writing/art comes from a place of hurt. My best poetry was written during my most confused and sad times in life. Writing is a release for me. During tough times, writing helps me release all of my emotions and anxiety. I've learned how to use it as a relief and a step out of reality. So with this new ability to see life in a more positive light, I am struggling to write, giving you guys something good to read, and being consistent with posting on the blog. I have been focusing more time on enjoying motherhood and all of the good vibes that life brings. I asked all of you to take this journey with me, so I apologize for my lack of consistency, but I ask that you be patient while I learn how to operate out of peace.